For days – actually, weeks and years – I’ve been working almost non-stop to accomplish one thing or another. Today, I’m at a standstill, help is all around me and I’m not comfortable with…well, I don’t know what I’m uncomfortable with. Waiting? Sitting? Not having a tight schedule with looming completions at hand? Having help? Hmmmm…
Having help. I’ve had help before. Actually, I’ve had to learn to receive help. Then, I began teaching others how to receive help. Today, I have a lot of help – a writing partner, a production team, my Sister and a whole crew of eight strong able-bodied men – and, I feel sincerely uncomfortable. With what? Too much help? Not helping the help? Maybe…
Learning to receive is a very large part of reclaiming one’s joy and purpose, especially for Women. Conditioned to wholly give of ourselves while caring for our children, mates, creations and tasks, we often give until we’ve depleted our capacities for being well. Without refilling our own cup, we too often empty ourselves into the severe imbalance that becomes debilitating disease. Receiving to refill is critical to wellness. Am I unwell?
It takes time and practice for receiving to re-establish its natural grace in a life. Our “Oh! No thank you. I’ll take care of it” patterning is fully stamped in our female histories. “Oh! Yes. Thank you,” is a wholly new attunement for many – and, well worth mastering! Yet, I have…and my day started in the yumminess of ease…so, why the sudden discomfort?
In recent months, two of my screenplays have become collaborative projects. This isn’t what I planned. In my view of big dreams, I would write, somebody would buy and I would detach…with the hope they would love my work so much, they wouldn’t change a word of it. Knowing this is not how the entertainment industry works, the detachment part is a key factor. It was a good plan. However, my path surprised me. Detachment is not in the cards. Mentors, Producers, Script Doctors, Directors – HELP – arrived instead.
I am receiving help – a team of knowledgeable Filmmakers – walking with me through a collaborative process of bringing my work to the larger audience. It’s exciting…at times, confusing…sometimes, like watching paint dry…and, occasionally, extremely intense with everyone waiting on me to make a decision or provide input. That was pretty uncomfortable in the beginning.
There have even been moments I just want to put the brakes on it all because, receiving help also comes with the responsibility of actually following through with what you’ve been working years to bring to fruition. Receiving help is more than just saying yes to the help itself. It’s saying yes to the life you desire to live – which is really good reason to master receiving help because when those floodgates open, you’ve got to be ready!
For months, my days have been woven with film-type activities while helping my Sister with her pets during her travel schedule. Then, an unexpected remodel that began as a wall repair and baseboard re-paint grew to encompass the entire house from one end to the other. Since she’s gone on another business trip, I’ve been packing and preparing for the Packers to move the large items so that construction can begin next week. In perfect timing, my latest film task finished, momentum picked up in the second project and the preparation became ready, shifting me into the graceful ease of equilibrium. Then, the able-bodied help arrived this morning and I became uneasy.
As I write this, the team of eight guys – the Packers – are wrapping, packing and moving practically everything around me into two pods in the driveway. They’ve taken over where I left off. The dogs are quietly happy sunning themselves in the backyard. My projects are in the hands of the help that I trust my dreams with. Why then, am I feeling uncomfortable?
Then, it hit me. My Sister is the Record Keeper of the family. Her home is our archive of memories, photo albums, inherited furniture and the energy of all in our families who have lived before us. Surrounded by generational family patterns, I suddenly feel the strength of our female line…and, that part of us that never considered to even ask for help, let alone receive it. I am completely uncomfortable.
Having processed through the unhelpful past and letting go of what no longer pertains, I realize I’m no longer uncomfortable with receiving help. I am, in fact, uncomfortable with that part of the female line that doesn’t allow or trust their life and dreams to be helped. Unallowance and untrust are energies that feel really, really debilitating!
We are a collaboration of human experience. We weave with one another, intertwining lives, expand knowledge through co-operative experiences and share brilliance as we each become manifest through the true nature of our dreams – the good stuff. When we accept in receivership, we help and we become helped in co-creative grace.
Open yourself to receive help with whatever your path is calling you to. It is where you will find the ease of equilibrium in your well-being. And, it feels really, really good!