What lies beneath all things is the vibration that becomes what matters.
What matters?
During my second experience with Covid-19, I was faced contemplating what matters if I lived through a 72-hour the feverish apex of the most significant virus I’ve ever experienced. I remember making the ‘to live’ decision. Then, the ‘what matters’ conversation began.
What matters?
My children are well and living their pursuits. With diligent progress, our relationships are now easy and content. While they are prominently important in my heart, the fact that my children matter wasn’t in this conversation. Even though the level of illness was on the extreme side, health never came into the field of view—nor did my canine companion, finances, other family, or long overdue conversations and reconnects.
What matters?
For years, random words of kindness would surface in me with force, like internal ballistic missiles shooting up from within. In the beginning, I took them to mean I should apply them to others or situations outside me. Then, I recognized I should apply them to myself. That took a very long time to establish as common practice in me. It was easier to temper my words to and about others than to say them to myself—let alone believe them.
What matters?
People have been saying kind words to me, about me, for all of my life. If I were to apply a percentage to it all, I’d say I’ve probably deflected, and outright disbelieved, 85% of the goodness that has come my way. So, one day, my body started shouting at me deep from within.
What matters?
Until recently, I’ve been glued to our political scene for quite some time now. The unkindness has been appalling to me, which I would love to shout at from the rooftops and vent and… well, I can’t. Unkind words can’t seem to make their way from my social brain to my voice these days. So, I’ve sat, listening to the outrage, agreeing and disagreeing with no one to engage with simply because my own words will not participate in the social melee. And that sets up an internal Armageddon without an outlet. I’ve felt caged, and boxing with my own opinions.
What matters?
Not sharing my righteous indignation, angry retorts and personal opinions was easy when I was at the peak of self-discovery in my spiritual journey. I was meditating several hours a day, lived in the expanded vision of life and truly knew, from the depth of my being, the neutral position of all that is. I was at peace within myself and moving through challenge from the greater perspective of the human life.
What matters?
In the evolution of a journey, life naturally became more grounded over time. In the attempt at reconnection of myself with humanity, I found the world to be dealing with the same emotional drama that preceded my catapult into the path of divine purpose. The challenge now being, as difficult as it is to cut ties with toxic relationships and dive into the internal unknown on a personal level, doing so with the country (and whole world) you live in presents an even greater set of complications.
What matters?
When the difficulty of co-existing with increasing unkindness became acute, I finally turned in to my relationship with the human world and, using the process that served me well through self-discovery, I repeatedly asked myself the question: “What, in my every thought, word and deed, have I done or am I doing, to manifest this?!” Without correlating events, it was about that time kind words periodically shot to the surface in me—every day and throughout every night for lengths of time I cannot quantify.
What matters?
I’ve been mostly disengaged from social media for several years. For a bit, I re-engaged, a little—in the background—with a few friends and family. In my “No. I am not ill” phase of being ill, I perused the feed and saw a post from an acquaintance I know as one of the sweetest and kind inspirers I am grateful to have connected with. During this phase, however, she was angry. The venom that spewed from her post was duplicate verbiage already on the airwaves in the political conversation. A perfect repeating ripple of attack and unkindness typed from her own hand, yet without the wisdom of firsthand witness or experience.
What matters?
Many social comments joined in, thereby feeding the feed with strength and sustaining the wave of emotion—that originated from an opinion, a perception, a non-factual belief—infecting from one person to another and to communities world-wide. This one instance was popularly engaged—a visible engagement of words shouting at us in mirrored manifestation of any virus travels around the world.
What matters?
Kind words—written, spoken and actioned—to one’s self and to others.